Sunday, July 6, 2008

Liberals vs. Conservatives

Wallowing around in the blogosphere leads to all sorts of interesting conclusions. Like, I stumbled upon a new blog, followed various links, and came to the conclusion that liberals trying to be threatening are kind of funny. We liberals seem to be missing that instinct that makes us recognize what really qualifies as "a threat". Meanwhile, conservatives have it down. My conclusion is largely unfounded and unsubstantiated, taking from circumstantial evidence rather than actual hard statistics. But I feel pretty good about it.

Let's look at the competing sides, shall we? Ann Coulter, she of hate-filled, nonsense-spewing fame, was treated to some liberal versions of threatening actions in November of last year. A greeting card was delivered saying, "You self-aggrandizing -- sociopath! The only thing left after nuclear war are you and cockroaches". The writer forgot, of course, about Cher.

Another one told Coulter to "Go fuck yourself". 

And perhaps my favorite, a phone call saying, "Hey, Ann, now that you've moved to Florida and you're in your 40s, did you know you can join the National Guard? Oh, I forgot, you and your rotund buddy down the street and the vice-president, you're all registered chicken hawks. You love war until you have to put your own ass on the line. I don't call that patriotism. I call that cowardice".

Contrast that to the threats made to the Dixie Chicks after Natalie Maines told a crowd that she was "embarrassed" Bush also hailed from Texas. They got real death threats. So, if the HBO movie Recount is to be believed, did some of the people responsible for recounting the votes in Florida. Conservatives know how to get it done. They don't use words like "self-aggrandizing" or "rotund". They draw a pretty picture with blood and the words "Death" or "Kill". They pack teddy bears with knives in their throats. They study at the feet of the ultimate threatening force, the mafia.

Liberals, per usual, are less than stern. They use big words, long sentences, or just make sexual suggestions. No graphics, no instant understanding, no black and white views. In a soundbite world, we lose out even on the threat end. And I find that kind of apropos.

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