Sunday, January 17, 2010

Dear iPod Genius Function:

Little less than three days ago, I thought you were the most brilliant thing ever. I thought you were the savior to humanity, that you would make me complete in ways I had not even fathomed were possible. Three days ago, my exaltations of your wonderfulness rang about the land - or to the four or so people I physically talked during those three days that would care/indulge me.

After a whirlwind courtship, I regret to say the bloom has fallen from the rose. The reason? You are obsessed with Conor Oberst. I know! I, too, am obsessed with Conor Oberst. I think he is brilliant. I love him. I listen to him constantly! Several of his songs are among the most played on my iPod. You seem to agree this was a good choice. Very well.

However. As much as I would normally agree that Conor Oberst goes with everything, I was hoping we could branch out a little bit. Or, if we constantly played Conor Oberst stuff, it wouldn't be the same Conor Oberst stuff - unless that is truly the cream of the crop. Which, no, is unfortunately not always the case.

Listen, I love Bowl of Oranges as much as the next person. But three times? In three different Genius playlists? Also, Eagle on a Pole? If we must have a Conor Oberst song on every Genius list you create, could we at least switch it up a bit? And could we dial back the Oberst love to only one song of his per playlist generated? That would also be swell, because my current Genius creation has five - count 'em, FIVE - songs by this man on it. Out of twenty-five! Even I, with my love for him, recognizes this as a bit excessive.

Once we handle the Oberst Overload, I think we should discuss how you seem to only pull the same artists and the same songs by those artists regardless of playlist generated. I understand that I listen to a lot of music that sounds the same. I understand that Conor Oberst can sound country, so if I pick a Ryan Adams country song or a Willie Nelson country song or a Johnny Cash country song, some Conor may show up. But what's the excuse for throwing in "Annie Waits" by Ben Folds? Or the same three She & Him tunes? Or the Shins?

I have a massive, massive amount of music to choose from, to go hog wild with and make a myriad of interesting and wonderful and exciting mixes. Mixes that will once again win my love and admiration. Mixes that include music I have forgotten I have! I'm not going to forget I have The Shins. Or Ben Folds. Or She & Him. Or Rilo Kiley. Really. I'm not. I listen to those guys on my own.

I'm sorry, Genius. I think we may have to break up. I'm leaving you for your more erratic cousin, Shuffle. Sure, I am often frustrated and skipping song after song I don't want to listen to in that moment. But at least it sometimes gives me The Clash, or Buffy Sainte Marie, or K.D. Lang. You do not. Maybe we'll see each other around.

3 comments:

John said...

Brilliant. If I still used iTunes (I gave it up when I got a Zune for Christmas) this would probably be even funnier, but the wording of it is hilarious either way.

Emily said...

Haha. I like this post. I've only used Genius for one playlist, and I was pretty happy with it. It actually included some songs I didn't even know I had and I really enjoyed listening to.

It does annoy me how liberally Apple uses the word "Genius," for both this and their Geniuses at the Apple Store. I mean, let's get real here. The feature nor the people are ACTUAL geniuses.

I can't do Shuffle. I can't not know what's coming up next. So I find Genius to be a little bit inbetween playlists I create and Shuffle: a little bit of a surprise, but not too much. Just like how I like life, in general.

Also, total tangent: I don't know if you've ever heard of MC Lars, but he sings this song called Hipster Girl (hysterical) and he mentions Conor Oberst and now your post made it get stuck in my head.

petpluto said...

It does annoy me how liberally Apple uses the word "Genius," for both this and their Geniuses at the Apple Store. I mean, let's get real here. The feature nor the people are ACTUAL geniuses.

That is true, though their Geniuses at the Apple Store used to be awesome. Now, they're generally filled by people who can't believe you didn't/won't just drop another couple thou on their latest and greatest machine when you have a problem with your old one. They eventually fix it, but you get an eye roll or two first.

I can't do Shuffle. I can't not know what's coming up next.

I Shuffle, simply because I'm the kind of person who gets into ruts and will listen to, say, a Conor Oberst album over and over again without a break for weeks on end. And I like to have change forced upon me.

I've only used Genius for one playlist, and I was pretty happy with it.

I love my first Genius playlist, and really liked my second. But after a while, I got annoyed by the repeat songs.

I don't know if you've ever heard of MC Lars, but he sings this song called Hipster Girl (hysterical) and he mentions Conor Oberst and now your post made it get stuck in my head.

I have never, I looked him up, and now I have that song stuck in my head!

I gave it up when I got a Zune for Christmas

You are dead to me.

Nah, you're not. But my Apple heart is broken (luckily, that heart is mostly separate from my real heart)!